Current mood:	thankful
Current music:	The Low Hum of Everrything Around Me

Guacamole Dip and Biting My Lip
I am addicted to this guacamole dip...holy jesus it's goooood.

So...my job sucks...that's not true, I love it, but maybe that's why it sucks. Because the pay is crap and the hours are crap, but I just can't leave because it's just such an awesome place to work. It's so laid back, and in the basic field of what I wanna do. Well, one of the things I want to do anyway. It's definitely not a job with OnOurBacks Magazine or anything. I bike to work now, and hells yeah it's awesome exercise but it was so ungodly hot today. Usually I can bike the 2 miles easy, but today...all those red lights...stopping and starting again, all that pedaling seemed more strenuous then ever. Turns out there was a heat warning for today. "96 degrees...feels like: 108" and that's for right now, at almost 5pm. I'm ready for fall.

On the YAY side of things...I've been looking at apartments and houses for rent for the past 2 days. Looking for that perfect place for Kelly and I. I don't even know what I want anymore...I did really want to live in an adorable duplex type place, but now I'm thinking maybe more of a building. All in all, I'd looove one of those amazing loft apartments with exposed brick and piping. So cute. I can't wait to get out of here...this apartment is such a craphole...our ceiling leaks...they fixed it, it will probably still leak. Not to mention more privacy...doing dishes naked, singing whenever I want, requesting that Kelly walk around topless at all times...sex on the kitchen counter, sex on the living room couch...sex anywhere...*sighs* yes...that would be a dream come true. I found that I was gnawing on my lip when I completed that thought...

Other than that...just constantly thinking about the future. Is she right for me? Is she it? The thing is, my mind keeps telling me that it's impossible because thus far I haven't had a relationship that hasn't ended...obviously...so how could this one not end? And while I know that we probably won't last forever, that we'll probably end up splitting up and going our separate ways, I just can't help but to close my eyes and let her happen. Giving into her a little more with each passing day. Love is so completely terrifying in the most amazing and pleasurable way. I look at every part of her and think to myself that I've never seen anything more beautiful. I want this. I want it to be good, and pure, and loving, and lasting.