Current mood:	amused
Current music:	birds chirping

you're soooo clever.
Tonight...was great...tonight was pimp...tonight, I won one for lesbians everywhere.

I started drinking at 5 p.m. today, and got in from a bar at 2:45 a.m. Maybe that says a lot right there.



But yeah, nancy (my sister) and tabi grabbed me at like 4...we went to her place. they fed me wine and tried things on me for the fashion show...altered them...then tried them on me again. i mades me some dumplings with plum sauce...then nancy made me a rum and pineapple. paul and mike came over...those lovely gay boys, and we all watched the L Word...
Theeeen josh (my brother) came and got us and we all went to fridays. so i called my best friend and roomate, ben on the way, and convinced him to come out...within like 5 minutes of us being at the bar some foreign dude starts hitting on tabi...then his friend comes and starts talking to me, and yeah...i was polite...
"how are you doing this evening" he said.
"fantastic" i replied.
"oh really, well...me not so much, i am 5,000 miles from home"
i ask where he's from...he says paris.
about 5 minutes later he's talking about how he's from brazil...i was just like whatever...so we end up moving seats a little ways away next to a friend of nancy's. meanwhile, nancy is still over there talking to some other friend of hers after we had already moved...and there's an open seat next to me and virginia (nancy's friend) that we were saving for nancy...so the brazil guy comes over...starts lurking behind me, and almost sits next to me...i'm like huh-uh dude that seat is for my sis...and he doesn't sit down, but stands right there where nancy would be sitting. nancy comes over..no place to sit...i tell dude to move, nancy sits. guy stiiiill fucking lurks behind me like a fucking groupie. he proceeds to try to converse with me whenever possible, and i try to ignore him... dude finally puts his arm around nancy to tap me on the shoulder and says "hey baby..." i ignore him.
i was still trying to play nice...oh my god, then he comes up behind me...and put his hands on my waist...to which i was like...that's it...
i turn around...and am like...
"look, i gotta level with you..."
"do you know what a lesbian is?" I ask.
"no." he answers.
"ok, well do you know what a girl that likes another girl is?"
"oh yes...a clit-licker" he says.
"wow....classy...yes that's right..." i say.
"So you're a lesbian?" he says.
"Yes, yes I am."
He thinks for a few moments, and then says "I don't believe it."
And wow, I am not surprised...men can be so dense. We then get into a bit of a heated.....um, "discussion" this fucker would not give up. the whole time he's talking with his hands, and they were getting dangerously close to my fuckin tits...angry sweat was collecting on my back.
he then says, "so you're a lesbian...this could be like competition...if we both saw a woman at a bar, who do you think she would want?"
and i said..."to be honest, Me."
then he proceeded to tell me that he could change me...looked me all up and down...i turn away...and seriously...he says close to my ear...
"it's 10 inches........"
he's like breathing all close to me...leering and shit. making me wanna crawl out of my fucking skin. i finally am just like...look, you are NOT my type...you don't have tits, or a vagina..move the fuck on...to which he got a little testy about, he was like i could fucking change your mind...you would love it...like seriously pissy and shit...
i must have an ocean of patience...i was just like, look...move on, i'm going to sit and talk with my friends...you go back to yours. i even pointed out that there were plently of other "hunnies" at the bar...so, i turned back around, ignored him...and he moved on...
yeah...but then... i got him back
a while later my bro is like "dude, look there he is mackin on some other girl..."
and yeah, she's toootally different looking then me, older...big tits, long curly hair..hella girly. i'm just watching...waiting. chick gets up...goes to the bathroom, and i follow.
"how do you like that guy?" i say
she just laughs and starts talkin about what a dipshit he is...then i proceed to tell her all he said to me...then her friend comes in, and the girl that i'm talkin to (pauline) introduces me to her friend...i forget her name...we all just chat for a minute and they say they're gonna go back and that i should come over and talk to them..."protect" them from brazil guy. back at the bar, i go over...hang out with the girls, and just chat....pauline was feelin my shit...tellin me how beautiful i am, and asking if i was single...and all that. the bartender comes up and asks if we want drinks, to which pauline is like...well, brazil guy said he wanted to buy me a drink...so she orders a round on him. well, then we talk a little more...and sure enough, brazil guy comes the fuck over...tugs on my back pocket, and stands on the other side of pauline...and says something about that whole competition thing...then asks pauline if she knows me...heh heh...
then pauline says "oh yeah, abby and i go way back" while rubbing her hand on my back.
then yeah, i'm like, "look ladies..i gotta run..hopefully brazil guy will leave you alone"
pauline's says "well...let me give you my number"...shit yeah...and her and her friend give me their numbers, and i walk out and flauntingly blow a little kiss at brazil guy.

fuck yes...if anyone actually reads that whole thing...i swear on my vagina it's true. and man...that guy was a fuckin douchebag.

Tonight the score was Men: Zero Dykes: 1